Vengeance Is Mine! Or Is It?
by AcidicParanoia
Summary: Holly is thinking of getting a little payback on a certain mudboy, but just who will she turn to to do the job? Crossover with Roald Dahl's: Vengeance Is Mine Inc. Please R & R. No flames please.My 1st fic..Don't kill me if you don't like it!
1. The Will To Have Vengeance

Yo all my readers out there, howz your life goin? This is ShadowFlamez with the story : Vengeance Is Mine, Or is it?. Dedicated to all Eoin Colfer and Roald Dahl fanz. Please R&R!

Summary: Holly is taking some free time off of her new job when she decides to take humiliating vengeance on Artemis for kidnapping her the many years ago. Just who will she decide to call to do the job?

Holly Short sighed as she laid her head back on the chair that she was sitting on. She was, for the millionth time since she started her new business, B-O-R-E-D! Especially because she was on vacation. She groaned and put her head in her hands.

Suddenly, a thought appeared in her mind. The thought was about an article she had seen in the mudman newspaper. She dug up the paper from a pile of books on her desk. Holly looked for the article and found it shortly after. This is what it said:

**VEANGENCE IS MINE INC.**

**If _you_ are annoyed by someone you hate, or dislike, we are the ones who can help you! That's right, we are offering our services to who ever calls us for assistance! Feeling the hatred, annoyance, or just plain boredom boil up inside you because of that annoying someone? Call us today and we can help you make your chosen victim's life hell, just for the low prices listed below:**

**1: Punch him/her on the nose, once, hard. £1000, 000, 00**

**2: Black his eye. £2000, 000, 00**

**3: Punch his nose _and _black his eye. £4000, 000, 00**

**4: Put a rattlesnake ( with venom extracted) on floor/ near pedals/ backseat/ front seat of his/her car when he/she is going on a journey. £20,000,000,00**

**5: Kidnap him/her, take all his/her clothes away except his/her undergarments, socks and shoes, then dump him/her in/on specific location. £1100, 000, 000, 000, 00**

**The work carried out will be executed by professionals. No payment need be made until your order is satisfactorily executed, when an account will be rendered in the usual manner. If you desire any different orders to be executed, our prices will increase with the difficulties of the task. Call us now at : 1300 55 2828.**

Holly smirked as she finished reading the article. _It's time to get some vengeance from you, my dear Artemis Fowl..._She called Mulch.

"Hey, Mulch"

"Yea? What do you need Hols?" Mulch answered her.

"Could you manage the company by your self for just a few weeks?"

"I guess...why? Are you going some where?" Mulch asked suspiciously.

"I was thinking of going up to the surface for... a while. Just for vacation, you know... Feel the wind in my hair... breath in the fresh air..."

"Are you thinking o seeing Mr. Fowl?" Holly knew Mulch was grinning over the line.

"Actually..."

"Well..?"

"Actually I was thinking of getting some payback on him."

"Right." Mulch said sarcastically.

"Mulch, get your idiotic mind out of the gutters!"

"Fine, fine. Sure you can go on vacation. See ya, Hols!"

"Bye."

_Perfect...Now to get some payback. _Holly dialled another number.

"Hi Holly! How the business going?" The voice of Foaly came through the line.

"It is going great Foaly. Look, I was wondering if you could get me a visa to go to the surface. PLEAAAAAASSSSEEEE!

"Sure thing Holly, when do you need it?"

"How about..., by today?"

"Okay..." the sound of Foaly typing was heard over the line, "Alright. You've got a one flight to E1, Tara, Ireland, tomorrow at 3:45p.m."

"Thank you SO much Foaly."

" You owe me three crates o beetle juice and 5 bunches of carrots."

"You got it."

The next day, Holly emerged from the shuttle in Ireland at 8 o'clock, dressed as a human. She took out her cell phone.

"Hi, is this Vengeance Is Mine Inc.?"

Mean while...

"Hello? Yes, this is Vengeance Is Mine Inc. Claude speaking. Yes I'm the manager. Yes. One by one? Of course, but the prices... Yes. Tomorrow. Right, we'll call you tomorrow. Thank you."

Claude put down the receiver.

"George, we have got us a new job tomorrow."

" Really? How much is he willing to pay" George looked up from his paper work.

" You mean how much is **_she_** willing to pay."

"A girl?"

"That's right, and she is willing to pay extra on how well the jobs are done."

"Job**_s_**?"

"That's right. She wants the full list plus a few extra orders of her own. Look up a bloke called Artemis Fowl on the net. She says he lives in.." Claude checked the description and dress that the lady ha given him, "Ireland."

"What's our customer's name?"

"Pine Cohne"

"Right. Searching...Here he is: Artemis Fowl, Filthy Rich, lives in Fowl manor, has high tech security, bodyguards...Wait a minute, he is only fourteen years old! We are out to get a minor?" George told Clause.

"If that is what our customer wants, then that is what she'll get, George. Book us on a flight to Dublin."

Well, that's it for now... I might be a bit slow on updating because my internet connection is faulty. PLEASE, PLEASE, Review! Thanks alot!

Questions? If you have any, then you can:

E-mail me!

OR

IM me!

Ciao my readers!


	2. Executing Order 1 and 2

Hello to all! 1st thing, I reallly wanna say sorry to my readers because I haven't updated any other chapter since I posted the first chapter, but I can explain! (Looks frightened by sudden angry mob of readers) My internet connection was disconnected by my dad ('Cause my bro and I use the same one for writing fanfics, and his grades have been dropping) and I couldn't write anything in the meantime because the computer went along with the privileges of web surfing. SORRY! PLEASE, oh, please don't kill me! Another thing is that my teachers have been giving everyone truck loads of homework because everybody my age in my country had to go for a major exam that just ended last week.

Thanks To:

**llyrantirge** —My first reviewer! I'm happy that you think it's great. I know that the thought of Holly wanting vengeance on Artemis is strange, but I actually got the idea of this ficcy after I read the first book where this idea would make sense. Now, since I've read the other books, I'm making Holly think of it more as a prank and not as... um... Evil as vengeance.

**The Dark Empress of Eternity** —Heh. Glad you think it's cool. I'll try to update faster for the later chapters. LOL. You just go a head in trying to start your own bussiness.

**Zarroc **—Yea I know that Holly likes Artemis after O.D., but as I mentioned to llyrantirge up there, I got the idea after the first book when Holly was still angry with Artemis for kidnapping her. Just think of it as pranks and not revenge.

**yamapi **—Thanks for saying that it's cool!

**rebellinggurl1** – HAH! I finally know who you are now! Only the most interesting girl I know would mix POP and POP2 with Artemis and Co. Thanks for liking my story! P/s: It's funny if you think of Arty using recall. XD

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Chapter 2:Executing Orders 1-2

Artemis Fowl the Second sat infront of his computer, playing a round of ChessMaster 9000 for what seemed to be the millionth time that morning.

He sighed.

Yup. You got it. He was bored.

Artemis switched off the computer in frustration and mentioned to the man standing by his study's door.

"Butler?"

"Yes, Artemis."

"Do I have any conferences or appointments for today?"

"No, sir."

Artemis sighed. "Bring out the keys to the Bentley, old friend. Go out and have some time to yourself."

"But Artemis-"

"No buts, Butler. You deserve a day out. Mother and father are both home. Nothing will happen. It is not likely that a few men will suddenly rush in without triggering the alarms and physically hurt me in anyway. Go. That is an order Butler."

Butler hesitated for a mere second before responding to the command. "Yes, Artemis." And with that, he left the room.

Soon after Artemis heard the car leave the manor's driveway he got up and chose a book from his bookshelf and left for the manor grounds.

A day rereading _Lord of The Flies_ in the garden would do him good. Nothing would happen, right?

Artemis didn't know how wrong he was.

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Meanwhile

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"RedReaper, the pigeon has left the roost. I repeat, the pigeon has left the roost. Order number one may be executed."

"Roger, BlueBottle. The subject is in sight. Have you hacked into their security sistem, George?"

"Yeap. RedReaper, you are good to go. Subject is making way towards the east side of the garden. You have exactly two minutes to execute order."

Claude smiled. "I can do it in less."

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Holly was perched in a nearby tree as, she eavesdropped on Claude and Georges' conversation and smirked at the thought of Artemis getting punched. This was deinately something she had to see.

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Artemis sat himself against a large fir tree in the garden. He opened the book.

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the manor's fountain was making sounds of flowing water, the sky was blue, a bush was moving, a man wearing a ski mask was coming out of the bush and moving towards him, he felt a throbbing pain to his nose...and, the world went black.

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"Send a messege o Miss Cohne please, George. Order number one has been executed."

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Artemis opened his eyes to feel a horrible pain coming from his newly bandaged nose run through him. He seemed to be lying on his bed in his room back in the manor. What exactly had happend again?

His eyes widened in shock as he recalled the incident in the gardens. _Someone punched ME? I will have to speak to father about upgrading the security system..._

His mother walked through the door.

"Arty! You're awake! Oh thank goodness you're alright! I was utterly shocked when Butler walked in with you over his shoulder saying that someone had managed to get past the security system and hurt you. Is your nose still hurting?"

"No, mother. I'm fine. I am just pondering the thought of someone getting past our security system. Maybe we should sue the company."

Artemis' mother sighed. "Always with the sophisticated tone of yours. Your father is calling up the security company now. With our lawyer, the company might as well close down now instead of paying a fine."

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Holly steadied herself from falling out of the tree. Seeing Artemis Fowl Junior getting punched was just TOO funny. Her laughter was cut short when her phone started ringing.

"Hello?"

"Miss Cohne? This is George from VIM Inc. We are pleased to inform you that order number one has been executed. You may now send the payment to our bank account."

Holly smirked. "Very good. I shall make a trip to the bank now. Please execute order number two tomorrow."

"With pleasure ma'am."

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Artemis shifted around on his bed later the next day. He couldn't get to sleep. The pain of his nose had come back and he didn't want to disturb any members of the house at such a late hour to give him the appropriate medication. The same afternoon, his father had sent their last security system's company out of bussiness.

A gush of wind softly grazed his cheek.

Wait, he hadn't left the window open...

Suddenly a man was crouching over him. Artemis, too shocked to speak, only managed to let out a small squeak before unconsciousness drifted over him once more.

(A/N: Who out of all of you guys out there think Artemis can squeak? Heh. LMAO. Lol. Damn funny when you think about it. XD)

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"Miss Cohne, we are happy to announce that order number two was just executed."

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Artemis Fowl Senior walked into his son's room to see that Artemis' right eye had been blackened. He sighed and went to make two phone calls. One to the newer security company that they had started using less than twenty-four hours earlier.

And the next call, was to a person who could get aid for Artemis Junior's black eye.

The butcher.

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Three cheers to who ever can guess what the butcher has in store fro our dear Arty!

Roses are red, Violets are blue,

Here is a poem just for you;

I'll update my story, just for you,

But only if YOU LEAVE A REVIEW!

Chocolate and Coke to all reviewers!

ShadowFlamez666,

Signing out.


	3. Executing Order 3 To 5

You guys had better thank me for updating another chappie in one day. Grr. SO, you, yes you, hav to give me ideas about what the other chapters are going to be about. Review, and tell me what kind of torture you wanna see Arty go through. NO KILLING PEOPLE! I'll choose the best few and put them up is the story. Anyways, here goes nothing.

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Chapter 3:Executing Order 3-5(What does the butcher do to help Arty's eye?)

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The manor's doorbell rang. Butler looked at the security screens that we're hooked up to the cameras. It was...

The butcher!

Suddenly, Artemis Fowl Senior's voice filled the air coming from the walkie-talkie Butler held in his hand. "Butler, the butcher is here. I want you to go outside and get the package from him. bring it up to my son's room."

Butler walked into the rounds and took the package from the butcher.

A steak? What was Artemis Senior thinking of doing in Artemis Jr.'s room with a steak? Have a barbeque?

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Artemis woke up.

He screamed.

There was a steak tied to his head.

Covering his black eye with its juicy preserving substance dripping all over his face.

His parents ran into the room. "What's wrong son?" His father asked him, out of breath.

"Father. Exactly why is there a...a...a **_steak_** tied to my head!"

"Because I ordered the butcher to send it here so that your black eye would heal faster."

"Father, are you not getting the point? A steak? "

"I saw it in a movie once when I was younger. I always wanted to see whether it would work..." He said, staring off into space...(A/N: Ooh.. major OOC-ness.. hehe)

Artemis Jr. flung the steak to the ground. "We need another security system"

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Holly was laughing maniacally as she shielded herself and watched through the bedroom window. It was just too much for her to handle. She smirked. The money paid for this was definitely worth it.

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George smiled. The were definitely making good money in this business...

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One month later...

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Artemis had just gotten his driver's licence. He decided to go for a drive into town.

Once in town, he got out of the car and walked into an art gallery.

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The Vengeance Is Mine Inc. workers were currently watching him from their car across the road.

Claude was checking their bank account over the internet while George was looking out for any signs that Artemis was coming out.

"I'm glad we started this business George. Because we are making millions in nothing but a matter of days. Which means...WE ARE FILTHY RICH!" Claude shouted out.

George chuckled at his friend's expression. " Well, we are going to get a lot richer today Claude. Here he comes now."

They put on their disguises and got out of the car.

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Artemis walked out of the art gallery and saw two me looking at him strangely. The both of them walked over to him.

"Are you sir, yes you sir, the, one and only Artemis Fowl Jr., Sir?" Claude said in a country like accent.

"Yes. And who might you be?" Artemis said coldly towards them.

"Vell, you see, ve are hoping dat you vill accept a gift vrom us?" George said in a fake german accent.

"Yea, yea. What ever. Who are you exactly?" Artemis was starting to feel intimidated by these two men.

"We," the both of them said in union, "are your worst nightmares." They said, George blacking his left eye and Claude punching him in the nose, breaking it once more.

Artemis passed out.

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Holly had been wa5ching the scene from up above, shielding herself and using a Hummingbird Z-7 to fly. She had to admit that they were pretty good at the accents. She couldn't wait to see the fourth order being carried out.

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Artemis woke up, once again, in his room. His parents were staring at him from beside his bed. The mirror hanging on the wall across the room to him made sure that he saw what the two men had done to him.

With two black eyes, they had left him looking like a panda, with a freshly done bandage over his unhealed broken nose. He groaned, and looked up towards the ceiling.

_Why must you do this to me God! Is this punishment for being a criminal mastermind? I hope nothing like this ever happens again..._

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Another month later...

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Artemis, after isolating himself for another month, decided to get out of the house again. Starting up his car, he drove himself onto a remote road, having no clue where he was heading.

But...during his journey, nature just had to call...

He stopped by the closest rest stop to use the toilet, forgetting that he had opened the window to let some air into the car. Without closing it, he briskly walked out of the car.

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Claude and George snuck up towards his car, gently letting a rattlesnake through one of the open windows that Artemis had left open. They snickered, got into their car that was parked behind Artemis' and waited.

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Just as Artemis was reaching the manor gates, something slithered across his feet. His heart skipped a beat as the snake began to lither upwards, going right across his chest onto hi shoulder. He heard it hiss as it was next to his ear...

So, he did the only thing he could do at such a time.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

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On that day, Butler had come rushing to his rescue. Taking the snake and flinging it into a drain by the side of the road.

That was, that day. Now it was time for the final order to be executed before Holly was to send in her own requests to the Vengeance Is Mine Inc. workers.

_Oooh. This is going to be good_... Holly thought to herself. She settled down in her hotel room. Switching on her TV which was connected to the video cam at the location which she had chosen for the fifth order.

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Artemis had once more gone out into the garden to read another book.

Suddenly, a piece of cloth was tied around his mouth, gagging him. He felt a sharp pain in hi arm. Looking down, he saw one of his attackers poke a needle of serum into hi blood stream.

Before he passed out, he saw two figures wearing ski masks hover above him...

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George and Claude dragged Artemis in to the location where they were supposed to leave him, stripping off his clothes and placing them into a plastic bag. They put the bag on the floor where he could get it...after some major humiliation.

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Artemis woke up to the sound of whispers and giggles. Opening his eyes, he found that he was stark naked in the middle of a crowd of girls. He saw a flyer on the announcement board. The big bold letters caught his attention.

**Victoria Clara Girl School.**

Oh god this was embarrassing.

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So that's it people! Another chapter for you guys. Remember to review so you can give me ideas on ho to torture our poor little friend. I'm in the mood to make him play paint ball... tell me what you think. What do YOU want to see in later chapters? Arty/Holly-ness? Him watching Barney? What ever. Tell me.

R-E-V-I-E-W!

ShadowFlamez

Signing out.


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